Medium Harris

My printer stopped working a week or so ago. Because I love opening the cases of all equipment electronic and because college sometimes requires printing ink onto paper, I decided to repair it myself. It turns out I would have to combat the mother of all paper jams to restore my printer to its former health.

• Writing Critical Analysis for English
  
• Writing Great Works Response #1 for English
  
• Writing Great Works Response #2 for English
• Writing Great Works Response #3 for English
  
• Taking English Diagnostic Post-Test for English
  

I will be sane again once finals are over.

Hi Petunia. How are you doing today? Oh, that's nice. It's not too dry here for you is it? Oh really. That's odd. I love the cold too, as long as there's snow on the ground. Cold is pointless without snow. So how old are you? 2 years old? Well...that's kind of young for me...So how's Provo treating you? What type of plant are you anyway? Oh, a cherry tree. Why is your name Petunia then? Wow! That was an extremely long and interesting story filled with mystery, intrigue, violence, and heroic bravery. You inspire me. Well, it was nice talking to you. I have to go kill a bunch of trees writing my English journal now. Ok, you too. Bye.

My English class is having a worst narrative contest tomorrow. Last time we met, we were taught what not to do in a personal narrative. This includes but is not limited to:

• Lie
• Fail to elicit an emotional reaction
• Fail to be self-aware
• Fail to stay "in-scene"
• Fail to include sensory detail
• Fail to have a point
• Fail to have a good beginning
• Use cliche topics or phrases
• Be too bound to chronology
• Use word padding (excessive words)

Here is my bad narrative (written past midnight to enhance the effect...I might regret this tomorrow).

One Very Bad Narrative

What I did over my summer vacation was that I got my first job, my first mode of transportation, and my first girlfriend. The very first thing I did upon leaving school on the last day when it was over was to go home. The next day, I decided that I needed a job. I checked online for ideas, but most of the good websites wanted me to register before I could search for jobs. So I gave up and began to check my email. There was an ad on the side of my webpage for a "secret shopper" position. That sounded cool! So I waited for my dad to get home from his office in Washington D.C. He's the President. So when he got home I asked him to get me a job as a secret shopper. He also gave me a private jet so I could get to work and back more efficiently. I was happy as a clam. When I got to work I found out that I got to buy things at places and fill out forms about the kind of service I received. The best part was that I didn't have to use my own money! So I liked this job. One day, while I was "secret shopping" for a new kitchen sink, I met this girl who became my girlfriend later. Normally I just bought stuff with my company's money and didn't bother to fill out the evaluation forms, but this time I said everything was "excellen"” because she was the salesperson. She asked me if I wanted to upgrade to the chrome fixture for only five more dollars, and I jumped on the offer like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. I knew we were meant to be together. I shopped there a lot because she was there, then one day I finally got the courage to talk to her. I asked if she wanted me to fly her home to meet my parents. I think she really wanted to go, but something always came up and she never got around to accepting my offer. I came back to shop there three times a day so I would be around if she ever said yes. Then one day I couldn't find her -- —she wasn't even in the dumpster out back where she would usually hide. I asked Jerry who works with her where she was, and he said she quit. Some people will never commit to a relationship. Soon after this experience, I found out that my dad wasn't really the President of the United States and that he had been lying to my family for years. It turns out he has an obsession for maxing maxing out credit cards and wanted to hide it from us by acting like he was President. He sure pulled the wool over our eyes. It was the best summer of my life.

Caution: This narrative is completely made up. Do not look for meaning anywhere within the stilted wording of this text.

I just finished my math midterm. It took three and a half hours, but I think I did really well. Now I have to make it through my religion midterm tomorrow and my chemistry midterm on Friday and I'll be home free. Given the choice between chemistry and physics, i would take physics any day. Physics is so mathematical. And Chemistry likes to make things complicated. For instance: instead of saying "Tobacco Mosaic Virus, Dahlemense Strain", chemists chose to call the disease "ACETYL­SERYL­TYROSYL­SERYL­ISO­LEUCYL­THREONYL­SERYL­PROLYL­SERYL­GLUTAMINYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­VALYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­LEUCYL­SERYL­SERYL­VALYL­TRYPTOPHYL­ALANYL­ASPARTYL­PROLYL­ISOLEUCYL­GLUTAMYL­LEUCYL­LEUCYL­ASPARAGINYL­VALYL­CYSTEINYL­THREONYL­SERYL­SERYL­LEUCYL­GLYCYL­ASPARAGINYL­GLUTAMINYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­GLUTAMINYL­THREONYL­GLUTAMINYL­GLUTAMINYL­ALANYL­ARGINYL­THREONYL­THREONYL­GLUTAMINYL­VALYL­GLUTAMINYL­GLUTAMINYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­SERYL­GLUTAMINYL­VALYL­TRYPTOPHYL­LYSYL­PROLYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­PROLYL­GLUTAMINYL­SERYL­THREONYL­VALYL­ARGINYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­PROLYL­GLYCYL­ASPARTYL­VALYL­TYROSYL­LYSYL­VALYL­TYROSYL­ARGINYL­TYROSYL­ASPARAGINYL­ALANYL­VALYL­LEUCYL­ASPARTYL­PROLYL­LEUCYL­ISOLEUCYL­THREONYL­ALANYL­LEUCYL­LEUCYL­GLYCYL­THREONYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­ASPARTYL­THREONYL­ARGINYL­ASPARAGINYL­ARGINYL­ISOLEUCYL­ISOLEUCYL­GLUTAMYL­VALYL­GLUTAMYL­ASPARAGINYL­GLUTAMINYL­GLUTAMINYL­SERYL­PROLYL­THREONYL­THREONYL­ALANYL­GLUTAMYL­THREONYL­LEUCYL­ASPARTYL­ALANYL­THREONYL­ARGINYL­ARGINYL­VALYL­ASPARTYL­ASPARTYL­ALANYL­THREONYL­VALYL­ALANYL­ISOLEUCYL­ARGINYL­SERYL­ALANYL­ASPARAGINYL­ISOLEUCYL­ASPARAGINYL­LEUCYL­VALYL­ASPARAGINYL­GLUTAMYL­LEUCYL­VALYL­ARGINYL­GLYCYL­THREONYL­GLYCYL­LEUCYL­TYROSYL­ASPARAGINYL­GLUTAMINYL­ASPARAGINYL­THREONYL­PHENYL­ALANYL­GLUTAMYL­SERYL­METHIONYL­SERYL­GLYCYL­LEUCYL­VALYL­TRYPTOPHYL­THREONYL­SERYL­ALANYL­PROLYL­ALANYL­SERINE".
Wow. 1,185 characters and who would understand that anyway? I prefer F=ma, E=mc^2, and the word "heat".

Well, I went to bed early to catch up on sleep, but my body apparently thinks it was just nap time. Now I am awake for the foreseeable future.

I feel great today. First of all, I didn't have to get up at 7:00 for religion class, then I got to skip Chemistry because it was a homework day with the T.A. and I finished my homework the night before. So my only class was at 3:00 PM, and it was movie day. To top it all off, I finally got my beta version of Windows Vista up and running. For those of you who don't spend every minute of your lives on or inside of computers, Vista is the latest version of Windows (after Windows XP) and has many awesome features, including security, a much-needed internet explorer upgrade, an awesome user interface, and is the first operating system ever to take advantage of 64 bit proessors. The full version comes out in a month or so for around $200. I would put up some pictures, but then I'd probably wake up with a sniper shot through my skull by a Microsoft Special Agent. I'll just have to let you imagine the awesomeness.

I have a new nephew! His blog has some cute pictures.

Today was my dual midterms day, which kept me busy. My first class was at 9:00, then I headed over to the testing center to take my math midterm (actually, I headed up since my class was in the same building as the testing center). It was pretty easy since my professor let the class know exactly what to study. I think I aced it. That took a couple hours, after which I snuck in a quick lunch and journeyed to physics.

After class, I spent a couple of hours on my physics homework due today. My Physics for Phynatics book finally arrived, so I went to my professor's office to pick that up, then set off for the testing center once again. The chemistry test was suicide. I wonder if I could have better spent my last two hours and forty-five minutes with a decent grade eating chocolate in the Cannon Center rather than suffering in the testing chamber. On the way out, I met someone I had never seen before who had just taken the same test, and we talked about it all the way back to my dorm. It was like we had both witnessed the destruction of the human race in the zombie apocalypse, narrowly avoiding decapitation ourselves. It's impossible not to relate to someone when you have both been through something so terrible.

Both tests completed, I walked to the Cannon Center to get some late dinner. Luckily, the cafeteria decided it was Chocolate Day today, so there were cream puffs, cake, truffles, fudge, a chocolate fountain, and tubs more of delicious treats creating an out-of-control sugar party in my mouth. Since then, I have been wasting time on my computer; something which I have not done in days but which has never lost its savor. Maybe my dual-core processor can equilibrate my dual-test day.

• I like to name inanimate objects.
• I'm from Boise and DON'T go to BSU or U of I
• The "Lets all poke someone at the same time" group
• Trent Warbis Fan Club
• When I was your age, Pluto was a planet.

I just finished my Honors Book of Mormon midterm, which was an interesting experience. As soon as class started, my professor handed out the tests and explained some stuff about the first page very quickly. Then he said, "See you in an hour" and left the room. Too bad for any latecomers. He explained so quickly that I didn't even have my test by the time he disappeared out the door. So hopefully I did ok on that part.

I have 2 midterms tomorrow: Math 190 and Chemistry 111H. We are discussing quantum mechanics in Chemistry and my professor often alludes to strange concepts keeping him awake at night. I can't sleep because of two major questions:

1)Why did I sign up for Chem 111 instead of Chem 105?
2)Why didn't I drop the class when I had the chance?

I think my only chance of surviving this test comes from my professor's deep resentment of memorization. In class, he always uses the most complicated equations and longest methods so he won't have to memorize a single constant. But this irrational behavior means that all the formulas and constants will be listed on the first page of the test, and I can spend my time studying concepts instead of equations.

For my English class, I have to research an extremely narrow topic, and then come up with some original research on a "hole" I spot that no one has researched before. I guess this isn't the kind of thing I should procrastinate, so I spent a couple hours in the library searching for something interesting. That's when I stumbled across an article in the Advances in Physics journal called "Dynamics of Wet Granular Matter". It sounds like a topic few people have researched. I browsed the article, and it was actually very interesting. It explains how sand dunes move and the unique forces at play during landslides. Did you know that underwater sand piles act just like dry ones? I knew instantly this was the topic for me.

Ok, so I was going to be done for the night, but i just found the coolest thing ever. Google Labs released Google Reader, which is perfect for viewing multiple blogs and other feeds from one handy site. Check it out at www.reader.google.com .

If any of you use the Google Personalized Homepage or another website that takes Atom or RSS feeds, you can add my blog. The feed will keep you updated on changes to my blog so you don't have to go through the tedious work of visiting my blog unless there are changes.

Just click this button if you use the Google Personalized homepage:

If you don't google, the address of my feed is http://mediumharris.blogspot.com/atom.xml . You'll need a website that takes feeds in order to set this up.

If any of you use the Google Personalized Homepage or another website that takes Atom or RSS feeds, you can add my blog. The feed will keep you updated on changes to my blog so you don't have to go through the tedious work of visiting my blog unless there are changes.

Just click this button if you use the Google Personalized homepage:

If you don't google, the address of my feed is http://mediumharris.blogspot.com/atom.xml . You'll need a website that takes feeds in order to set this up.

Hey, now you can search Google right from my very own site! Now there should be nothing stopping you from making this site your homepage. Just kidding.

I just got back from a cousin party at Aunt Caroline's house, which was very awesome. Now I have a bloody nose, which is not so awesome. I didn't take my camera, otherwise there would be some cool pictures of my cousins and of my sister Shannon and her husband Andrew. Here is the sheet of paper my best photo would be printed on:
I have 4 midterms this week, so I'm going to stop writing now. Or maybe not. I have some more interesting information.

Here is my name as a fractal (my name made of little versions of my name made up of smaller versions of my name, etc.). I made a Java program earlier this year that takes equations that define a fractal and draws the picture. Then I figured out the transform equations to make my name into a fractal. The program is fun because I can zoom in or out to infinity, since fractals are cool that way.

Today in history (September 24th):

• 1789 -- The Supreme Court is established
• 1908 -- The first Model T is finished
• 1936 -- Jim Henson is born
• 1961 -- I love Lucy airs its last episode
• 1996 -- Stephen King releases two novels on the same day
• 1890 -- The Mormon church renounces polygamy
• 2006 -- Andy Harris has the worst bloody nose in American history
  

For those stalkers out there who just have to know a little more about my personal life, here is a little treat. This is what I imagine every time I look at my schedule:

This guy is just so cheerful. I cannot help but smile when I see that my first class of the day is a serpent fish's tongue or a ducky hat. And Wednesday afternoon is one long, out of control party. I'm going to have pleasant dreams tonight.

Be sure to check out my new albums at my Facebook site.

I am pretty busy, as I am taking 17.5 credit hours this semester. This means a LOT of reading assignments from my 13 required textbooks. My total came to between $500 and $600 for required textbooks and supplies this semester. Good thing I have the National Merit Scholarship Corporation and tithe-payers throughout the church supporting me. Thank you.

My schedule is:

1. MATH 190 Fundamentals Of Math (Proofs)
2. HONRS 240 Honors American Government and Society
3. CHEM 111 Honors Basic Principles of Chemistry
4. REL E 121 Honors Book of Mormon
5. HONRS 150 Honors University Writing
6. PHSCS 123 Physics 2 (Electricity and Magnetism)
7. PHSCS 191 Physics Careers

Note: I have blurred out my classes, as it is safety week this week.







I find my schedule amusing because it's so symmetrical and because it looks like a little man with his arms outstretched. That's the main reason why I chose to have MATH 190 at 11:00 instead of 8:00. It would have ruined the whole picture.

My schedule is best described in the words of the guy next door: "Your schedule stinks".

This is my new favorite activity. Notice the unique texture? (It helps if you click the pictures to enlarge them.)

This is my first posting. Let's see if I can figure out how this thing works. Link to my website (hasn't been updated in forever). Dark red text.

<-- A portion of of my 13 textbooks

"This blog has been spellchecked."